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Dirty Harry is back to launch the Dirty Harriers

Harry Wiltshire the controversial olympic hopeful has returned to International competition after his "sabbatical" absence in the Barbados sunshine .

Harry was apparently unaffected by the no-show of his domestiques the Brownlees , who were unable to make the trip to support their team leader . Wiltshire is the self styled leader of the new Planet X Triathlon team that is being formed under the banner the "Dirty Harriers" and the weekends race was the seasonal dent for Harry.

Wiltshire is riding a prototype Olympic special hand built carbon bling machine and stealthy black carbon 50s -

Planet X owner Dave Loughran was eager to quell rumours about the unmarked no logged bike Wiltshire was riding that sparked rumours Wiltshire had been expelled from the planet x team

"make no mistake this is definitely not a random carbon frame we found in the corner of the warehouse that we gave to Harry just to stop him coming to visit us , it is a lovingly handbuilt 800g tube to tube special subtly crafted performance vehicle fit for our infamous and most high profile triathlete. We strenuously deny that last year we tried desperately to upset Harry so much that he would stop bothering us , this is not the case at all , Harry is very much a part of our past , present and future despite the fact that he is a bit work shy and keeps harping on about the bloody olympics "

Wiltshire was quick to praise the bike but was unavailable to comment about the impending launch of the Dirty Harriers squad , in a note to sponsor he penned...

"That bike of yours is bloody awesome. You said you had a "wham" moment looking around the factory, well I had a wham moment racing on it, smooth, comfortable yet stiff as anything, happy to sit in a group and cruise, but when an attack needed chasing it was like a whippet out of the gates. I'm in love!"

OK Harry blah blah blah - we get it , suck up to your sponsors , yeah yeah yeah heard it all before .

Sprint distance racing sucks, someone had this idea that a race inside an hour fits better on the telly, so they are trying to half the distance we race.

That means every race report reads as follows, we all swam together, we all rode together, 8 people ran faster than I did. It was pointless training for 35 hours a week all winter because you can do the short ones just as well on 15.

I get to do a real race in Peru next weekend.

I got put up by a homestay on the island, they were amazing looking after me.

The guy moved out of Doncaster when he was 8 and hasn't been back. He became the islands number 1 junior surfer and raced the world tour beating Kelly Slater back in the day.... He took one look at my baby blue flowered bike kit and told me "things must have changes"

Straight after the race the family tried to be polite about a bunch of fellas in lycra swimming and biking around in a little group and then asked if we could go surfing instead of watching the girls.

I wasn't that keen on watching the girls swimming together, biking together and running slowly in 35 degrees especially when all the cute ones seem to have become less cute this year.

I had never surfed before and I got well shown up by 8 year old Erin. I am meant to be one of the best swimmers in triathlon and I was rolling about getting battered by waves whilst this kid was paddling circles around me and laughing. He surfed 4 or 5 waves all the way in then told me they were too small and went to play in the rock pools. I spent 4 hours out there and stood up for all of 15 seconds.

My homestay had a flagpole in the garden so I've sent them a Thank You Yorkshire Rose flag.

Next time I promise to stick about and watch the girls, I will offer to rub in their sun cream, write "Planet X" on their back in cream and send you a picture. For now my 15 seconds of standing on a surf board is all I have got!

16 February 2012

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